


Fade into Me

by Gelflings_in_a_Tardis



Series: Death is the Beginning. [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Battle of Five Armies, Death, Don't hate me., Emotional Hurt, Hurts So Good, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I couldn't silence this plot bunny any longer, Major character death - Freeform, Multi, One Shot, POV Bilbo Baggins, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, graphic death, so much hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 02:01:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13671954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gelflings_in_a_Tardis/pseuds/Gelflings_in_a_Tardis
Summary: The ultimate sacrifice is what it takes to break Thorin from the Dragon sickness.





	Fade into Me

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't turn this off. The plot bunnies just kept hoping into my lap while I was trying to write other non-angsty things and warping what I was working on. Don't hate me!  
> I know I've read something similar to this but for the life of me I couldn't remember the title or author. 
> 
>  
> 
> **I made myself cry while writing this.

The pain was sharp and insistent; it was a pain that wanted you to know it was severe and wouldn't be ignored no matter what. It bloomed like a crimson rose in her breast and the petals pushed the air from her lungs in a frozen gasp. It puffed up from her lips in the frigid air and she couldn't seem to draw anymore back in.   
  
His eyes were icy just like the terrain they stood upon and in that moment she felt frozen by them just as much as by the pain in her heart.  
She could see the madness in their depths as he glared down at her and she felt the last bit of her heart break.   
  
Her eyes clenched shut as a shudder of pain ran down her spine and she swallowed convulsively as she tasted metal in her mouth.   
  
Briar Baggins, esteemed Burglar of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield felt like a fool in that moment and the feeling only deepened as she looked down to see Orchrist piercing her chest.  
She had followed them, slain countless Orcs and goblins to protect the line of Durin and here she was ended by it.  
As she stared down it felt like each beat of her heart made the blade move just a little and she knew then that she had sacrificed it all for the dwarf she loved but who no longer loved her.   
She turned tear glazed eyes skyward and prayed while Thorin bellowed at her about how she didn't belong there and how she had stolen his honor killing.   
_Yavanna what have I done?_  
  
_Was it all for nothing?_  
  
She felt a hand as warm as sunshine on her cheek and she turned her eyes to see the Green Mother staring down at her.   
_"No my darling, it was not for nothing."_  
  
Briar couldn't help the small smile that curled her lips at the Vala's words. The pain was beginning to ease in her chest but her legs were getting tired and the cold was seeping in from standing there on the ice; she found that she really wanted to lay down now.   
_"Rest my daughter, you have done so well. I am very proud of you and look forward to you relaxing in my gardens with me. Others are waiting to see you as well."_  
  
Her eyes felt so very tired but she couldn't shut them just yet as she cut them to Thorin staring down at her still. There was something new in the depths of her love's eyes that she couldn't place but it seemed to be pushing the madness out of their beautiful deep blue inner petals.   
_What about Thorin?_  
  
_How can I leave him?_  
  
Green eyes that mirrored her own crinkled in the corners  _"You're still concerned about him after all the pain he has caused you?"_  
_"Yes, Green Mother. I love him even now that he has killed me. I know he isn't in his right mind and hasn't been for a long time."_  
  
As Yavanna sighed Briar felt a warm almost spring like breeze wrap around her  _"You really are amazing. He will have to live out the rest of his life with the pain and knowledge of what he's done and if he leads a good life you'll be reunited in the end. My husband and I will see to it."_  
  
Briar felt lighter in her heart as she turned her drooping gaze back to Thorin who had fallen silent and she saw the moment the Madness left and the realization of what he had done hit him.   
  
"Briar!" he choked out looking down to where her blood was running down the blade and hilt to coat his hand "Briar, oh Mahal."   
She tried to smile reassuringly at him but the blood on her teeth only seemed to make it worse for him and he started forward without realizing he was still holding Orchrist.   
"Ahhh don't do that, please."   
He stared down at the sword handle like it was a vile thing and she knew he would have dropped it if it wouldn't have killed her faster.  
She closed her eyes as her legs grew numb and she pulled a shuddering breath as far into her lungs as she could.  
  
"Pull it out."   
  
His beautiful cerulean eyes were stricken and she could see the tears growing in the corners "No."   
"Thorin, please just pull it out."   
He shook his raven head and squeezed his eyes shut in denial; he looked so much like Kili in that moment she couldn't stop the sob that slipped from her.   
  
She'd never see them again. Never laugh with Fili and Kili or pull pranks on each other, she'd never get to sneak up on them and reverse pick pocket them. She'd never get to see them marry and have little ones of their own, never get to play Auntie to them and tell them stories of their Adad's antics on the Quest that won back their home. There would be no more camping trips, or big dinners with everyone.   
  
It was ending.   
  
No more songs with Bofur or stealing his hat off his head, no more recipe swapping with Bombur or collaborating and combining Hobbit and Dwarrow food stuff, no more peaceful flower gazing with Bifur while he whittled.   
She wouldn't be able to ask Balin questions on Dwarrow etiquette anymore nor learn new sparring moves from Dwalin, she wouldn't be slipping the giant warrior cookies anymore before he went on watch, no more tea with Dori or lock picking lessons from Nori and she'd never be listening to Dori scold Nori like a mother hen for teaching her such ruffian behavior.   
The pain bloomed sharper as she realized there would be no more talk of books with her dear friend Ori and they would never again share secrets in the dark like tweens on who they fancied. She'd never again hear Gloin crow about his wee lad Gimli or regale her with the tale of his epic courting of his wife, she'd never again talk about medicinal plants with Oin or listen to him argue that he wasn't deaf with everyone else.   
  
The  numbness was creeping up to her waist now and she could feel herself sinking down with no control, Orchrist tugging painfully in her breast "Th-Thorin look at me."   
His eyes snapped open and the tears spilled down into his whiskers.   
"Pull. Out. The. Sword."   
"I can't." he whispered "you'll die."   
She felt tears of her own slip from tired eyes as she spoke the truth "I'm dying anyways, beloved. If I am to die I'd rather be in your arms instead of pinned like a butterfly in a case."   
  
She could see the conflict as it warred like storm giants in his eyes before he accepted the truth of her words and the color darkened to cobalt as she felt him correct his grip on the hilt.   
She drew in as deep of a breath as she could and nodded; the force of the blade being drawn from her drew her breath out like a punch and she could feel her blood rain down her front as her legs gave out completely.   
Strong arms caught her before she hit the frozen ground and she drew in the smell that she knew was Thorin, camp fires, musk and something similar to hot metal. She rubbed her face into the fur of his coat and tried to take his scent as deep as she could so she'd never forget it.   
  
His hand shook as he caressed her cheek as he shifted her back and closer; she struggled to keep her eyes focused on his face though it felt like the weight of all Middle Earth was pulling her eyelids down.   
"I'm so so sorry, Briar. I- I didn't mean to hurt you."   
"I know." she answered feeling lethargic as her head lolled in the crook of his arm before she snuggled into him "I know, **A** **tamanel."**  
His chest heaved under her cheek as he was wracked with sobs and he spit out broken apologies, his voice shredded like they were shards of glass; she could feel his tears splashing down on her forehead as she struggled to keep her eyes open.   
  
Her hand felt so impossibly heavy as she reached up to caress his cheek and he caught it where it weaved in the air to kiss her knuckles and palm.   
  
_"Come my daughter. It's time to go home."_  
She shook her head  _Not yet. I'm not ready! Please Yavanna give me just a little longer._  
  
"Thorin." she whispered.  
The heart break in his eyes hurt her in a way she hadn't imagined and in that moment she wished she could kiss the pain away but she couldn't seem to lift her head any longer.   
" _Kiss me."_ she whispered.   
He nodded and leaned down to press his lips to hers. There was a hunger there but it wasn't lust fueled. It felt as though he was trying to memorize the way her lips felt against his and that maybe just maybe he could pour some his life force into her through their kiss.  
Tears rushed from them both to mingle on her cheeks and she felt loved.  
  
Loved like she had known he loved her before the Madness had crept in on cat feet to steal him away from her.  
  
He drew back finally and she drank in the sight of him with the twilight sky as a back drop. Every scar, the silver in his obsidian hair, his winged brows and strong nose, the richness of his blue eyes that felt like they were devouring every detail of her as well.   
  
She tried to breath and felt her heart stutter.  
Thorin noticed and held her tighter "No! No! Briar, you can't leave me!" he cried.   
She leveled a look at him that she knew called him a majestic idiot " _I cannot stay."_  
The tears returned and each one increased the ache in her chest "Please, PLEASE!" he begged.   
She drew the last of her strength and put it into her voice "Thorin, THORIN look at me."   
He snapped his mouth shut and touched his forehead to hers.   
" _I love you, Thorin Oakenshield. Do not squander this life and I will see you in the next."_  
She felt his slight nod and smiled.   
_"I love you, Briar Baggins and I'm holding you to that."_ he whispered back sounding just like the majestic idiot that had invaded her smial so long ago.   
  
She closed her eyes and sighed.  
  
_I'm ready Green Mother._  
  
When Briar opened her eyes she was in a garden so vast she couldn't see the borders and as happy as she was to be in Yavanna's gardens it didn't ease the pain in her heart.   
  
  
Thorin didn't know how long he stayed there on the icy ground holding her to him as his heart broke over and over but when Dwalin found him kneeling there the sun had fully set, the stars casting their cold light on the frigid landscape and he felt like his knees were frozen to the ground.   
Dwalin had tried to take her from him and all he could do was shake him off while tears ran down his face unheeded.   
His best friend had followed him back to camp and gathered the others as they went; the camp falling silent around them as though mirroring his sorrow.  
  
That night no one celebrated in the dwarves camp.  
The elves would speak for Ages on how The King Under the Mountain had lost his One in the Battle of the Five Armies and all that was heard that night was sobbing from the tents of dwarves. None would mention how the leader of the Elves had shed a tear nor that Mithrandr had also cried when the news reached him that the little Hobbit lass so far from home had fallen.    
  
Snow had fallen in the night as if the world was fading into sorrow as well.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> atamanel~ breath of breaths. 
> 
>  
> 
> Songs= Fade into You by Mazzy Star  
> So far Away~ Five Finger Death Punch  
> Wicked Games~ Stonesour.  
> Eavesdrop~ The Civil Wars.


End file.
